so the chest pain/shortness of breath/overdose guy we just took to tm hospital is now running down market street from the police in a gown holding his iv.
If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
I found it funny that her boobs actually kinda felt like a bag of sand. the 40 year old virgin should feel better about himself.
I'm actually agreeing with glenn beck. What the FUCK was in that margarita?!
I cannot believe we're comparing my vagina to Mary Poppins and a black hole.
She said my dick tasted like a junior mint. Ive decided im using this soap the rest of my life
He cut part of his finger off. It was a consolation blow job.
I just realized I'm trading you a pregnancy test for the morning after pill...
It's been a bad semester.
I'm promoting my liver to CEO of my body cause it clearly works harder than anything else.
I just wanna lay in my bed all bundled up as have someone feed me lettuce
It summer and it's getting a lot harder to hide sex bruises from my parents.
First world problems?
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
hes fine. but he did fall asleep while tebowing and started snoring
Dude... She just sent me a story of how she wants to fuck me on a boat and call me her captain.. Well ahoy mateys, lets set sail
I was really excited when I saw a billboard for neverbethirsty.org this morning. Then I realized it was for a church.
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