just got a hand job during a movie in class today is gonna be great!
Classy. Drunk on alcoholic "energy drink" at work before 8 am on a Tuesday. Between that and hanging out in bars with no pants on, your life is beginning to sound like a Bukowski novel.
We probably shouldn't have forced that guys cat to drink the grey goose while we were doing lines in his bathroom
I'm sorry I put you in the washing machine. I honestly thought you would fit.
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
i was debating whether to load antoher bowl when i realized i was holding a sandwich in one hand and a cookie in the other. and laughing.
I don't mean to ruin your favorite Disney movie...but...we both came when Mufasa died.
When the cops pulled up I just stood flat against the fence with my hands up while yelling out,"I'm a tree!!"...
I gave them the 'I used to fuck your son' discount.
I'm tryin a pb and onion sandwich now
Please smoke with me until I agree that sounds like a good idea
Yeah but sometimes your vagina needs to be fed and when we are drunk we tend to eat junk food
Blood everywhere...karaoke was nice
He's driving 2 hours to visit me and he's bringing weed. I love him so much.
I am beginning to doubt your commitment to my making poor choices tonight
Instead of.being an intelligent and mature adult and dealing with my feelings I chose to get hammered and fuck flounder
Eh it happens
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