I hid 4 bags of cocaine in your house. Have fun finding them
Be honest with Daniel. He was a good rebound to you for nine months and he made it so you could be with the one you really love and care for now. Just tell him thanks and best of luck.
I'm having a self conscious moment and I need your complete honest opinion of my boobs.
His balls looked like two miss shaped chicken nuggets
She kept telling people I wrecked her brain. That high.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO GET MY FUCKING CUPCAKES WHEN THE GROUNDSWORKER I HOOKED UP WITH IS LOITERING IN THE VENDING AREA
Its okay that he doesn't remember you, he only remembers girls by their boobs and I think you were wearing a jacket
I found my keys in the basement freezer. Drunk me is a sneaky little bastard.
and everyone will high five me and girls will approach me offering blowjobs
GOVERNMENT SHUTDOWN NO RULES ICE CREAM FOR BREAKFAST woooo!
Lol I screamed "GOT AN ORDER OF VERSACE TACOS UP" and the whole kitchen was just like who the fuck is this kid
I can no longer play with you. I puked on my feet in the shower. I'm too old for this.
I'm just going to ride dicks all the way to the to the gates of hell
He's gonna fuck me, then his girlfriend is going to come over and fuck me in front of him. And they're smoking me out. Happy birthday to ME
Imagine we only get one cock for the rest of your life. I’d pick his dick. That good!
Randomize
