Whoa Z and x make the same sound
the 3rd commandment: and god said, if you buy a handle.. you must finish it.
So, right as I'm cumming, I pull out and go "PYEW PYEW" like Star Wars lasers. Best part is, I missed her completely.
There's a litter of kittens in my bathtub and beer cans everywhere. I want my apartment key back.
It started as a joke and ended with a trip to the emergency room, a broken macbook and a gigantic hole in the concrete of my driveway.
I will probably be peed on at some point today.
I think the main reason you were throwing up so much was the quart of soap you chugged trying to burp bubbles. you came close
We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
remember when I told you about my grandma asking me about my sex scars? Less comfortable than that
Just traded the drive-through guy at BK a Dos Equis for a Hershey pie before noon... win?
Because you stood over the Ice luge screaming STONE COLD and poured beer on everyone
We tried to hook you up with a girl but you said you'd rather fuck the large muscular black man because "At least he'd be tight". He was the bouncer, he heard you.
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
I thought I was bad, the girl next to me on the bench was feeding a bush a hamburger and introduced me. Only at lollapalooza.
I am going home. I have pee on my pants. Rachel is driving and I and drunk. It is not Rachels pee. It is my pee.
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