just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
Stop selling my mother weed! She's annoying as hell when she's stoned.
i caught him jerking off, doing his SAT Prep. forever alone.
I met her dad while holding 4 empty beer bottles at the opera house. I think I made a hell of an impression.
Guess who just screamed "Everything happens for a reason!!" in the abortion clinic. This girl.
I just got my hands on some dry ice. How do you feel about coming home to a mystical wizard toilet?
Listen I'm a sentimental character under all this alcohol and ratchetry
I just ate cottage cheese and went to the gym at 6 this morning...the things i'll do because I might get naked in front of a new boy
We're sitting in the bathtub, eating pizza, doing shots of vvodka and comparing nipples. I havfe never been so comfortable in my life.
Day two of not drinking, I think my cat is trying to eat me.
Psychosis secondary to sobriety???
That's okay I'm failing college because I'm to busy giving over the pant handjobs in class..
Plan before tomorrows interview: wash off green glitter from EVERYWHERE!!!
Shhh embrace your inner whore. Just embrace it.
Dude i just passed out while getting head...she cried
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