i woke up to find out i shared my bed with a full, open can of natty light last night and didnt spill it. then i drank it for breakfast.
somehow we got the entire party to start singing "ill make a man out of you" from mulan. needless to say, that kid had the best keg stand i'd ever seen.
I woke up hugging a loaf of bread and a water bottle this morning
My face left an imprint in the loaf...
I probably shouldn't have slept with him. I feel like that may have given him the wrong idea.
and then the entire party sang the national anthem a capella around the keg.
I could write a book on how to barely get by in community college. I just took an online quiz on my phone, at the bar, 6 minutes before it was due.
Dude, the chicks a procotolgy intern. Don't cheat on her. She knows where it hurts the most.
June 16th my calendar just says boobietassels....I can only assume that has to do with you
Oh god our sink is a cavalcade of horrors. Brb sacrificing a goat and putting everything in the dishwasher forever
I'm 99.9% sure the people upstairs are using walki-talkies to talk to each other across the room. Too high for this shit
Dude I woke up and he was pissing in the corner on his clothes... I called his name an he replied " I got this" and continued.
Today's goal is to get out of bed, before I take a shit. This might be hard
Pass or fail tho
I peed outside 4 times after the bar, safe to say I had great night
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
All I remember is me taking my automatic nerf gun getting on top of him and saying..."look whos in control now!"
Randomize
