did I really admit that id have sex with that cougar had I been more drunk?...ugh...i need to masterbate more
oh my god im such an asshole. i just asked the guitarist of bad religion if he was a scalper.
And he just showed me his vera bradley wallet...
I'm watching CSI, they found semen in the woman's ear.
Guess she heard her killer coming
dude stop sending me pictures of your dick in weird places. i get it. you rock out with your cock out.
I woke up wearing a cow costume. I'm not even gonna try to recall what happened last night.
i had to apologize to my friends for being friends with me
he said no sex till date three. i said the party was one, mcdonalds two and that i would take him with me to buy cigs for date three.
Can you explain to me why I woke up with my hands tied to the hotel bed with the phone cord???
Just saw him riding in a basket on the front of a bike trying to feed the other guy beer. He screamed 'PARTY BIKE BITCHES!' at me as they rode past.
I lied. He's hitting on a drag queen now. Should I rescue him or take pictures?
The port-a-pottys are knocked over so I have nowhere to sleep.
His reasoning for leaving the keys in the ignition of my car overnight with the top down in an open parking lot ? Too eager to have sex. The sex was not that good for him to do this twice....
I feel like the fact that I slept with someone who dresses up like Batman a few times will never be lived down.
Just laying in bed, snuggling my cat, and pondering whether I'd like to attend a swingers party this evening...
CURRENTLY PLAYING FLIP CUP WITH A WORLD SERIES CHAMPION
Randomize
