he pissed his pants, and she still wants to hook me up with him. I try not to date guys with bladder control problems... Unless they're loaded anyway.
hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
We're going on a mission for new porn. And ice cream.
Gave out candy dressed as a porn star...bet you can guess how the mothers kept reacting.
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
i hooked up with some kid with a broken arm and he wouldnt even let me sign his cast
Just realized Ive had sex in or around each thing listed in Green Eggs and Ham besides the fox.
Dude. Why is there a hamster in my pocket? WHAT THE FUCK WAS IN THAT JOINT
if you fuck our toilet off the wall again, i'm going to be so mad.
I threw up in bed last night and tried cleaning it with oldspice and baby powder
I'm just going to take the mature adult root and ignore him for a bit, and then pretend like I didn't see him jerking off.
I can't. I'm going camping this weekend. I do have a life outside of your dick.
If ur gunna go fuck a guy that's in the baseball hall of fame do you need to shave your legs? I'm so lazy
She was blacked out on the couch MASTURBATING and whispering to her boyfriend...who wasn't there. I yelled her name and she didn't even pause.
Totally just got spotted hitting the bowl by someone else hitting a bowl. We gave each other a head nod
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