to do: lose virginity to hamster dance
No, we ended up finding him drunk at a bus stop downtown sitting on the bench asking people for chocolates and amazing stories to "rid his mind of his whore of a girlfriend"
So im walking through ohare and this guy walks by with a cart full of big bottles of liquor. I want to know what flight hes on.
Just saw a white bronco on my way home from work and the license plate said "NOT OJ"
We all have a cross to bear. Yours just happens to be attracting gay men.
i don't think i ever formally apologized for that time i threw up on your dog.... well...here it is...
i got us a cheese tray and a bottle of whiskey
ugh yes i love our date nights
Dude I swear I heard "geet out!!!" when I went down on her. I shouldve listened.
That just sounds like a recipe for sex in my backyard. Yes.
i'm gonna fuck his crew, i'm gonna wax my asshole. i'm gonna make them all cry tears of sex joy then move to colorado.
I swear I was in Legend of Zelda Twilight Princess and American Ninja Warrior at the same time. I'm never getting high while rock climbing again.
It's a herpes check up not a beauty pageant
Yeah. We had phone sex then cried together, it was beautiful and heartbreaking
Get over your kidney infection all ready. You have been sober for too long.
it was like 6 shots in and he was automatically my type
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