Dude im not sure whos apartment i woke up in but i just showered here and their shampoo in phenomenal
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
As long as you don't die I'm in full support of your drinking decisions
He pulled the washer 5 feet out from the wall screaming about quarters
He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to.
I feel like you never had a virginity..
He gave me an orgasm before we even reached 2nd base, everything he did in high school is irrelevant.
It wasn't good. I can tell by the way he fucks me he watched too much porn
You told the entire smokers deck that you were blowing .08 now and anyone else willing later
I just ate cottage cheese and went to the gym at 6 this morning...the things i'll do because I might get naked in front of a new boy
Well, he asked what my sign was, then proceeded to critique me on my beer pong stance... I really need to raise my standards.
Pumped to get "pass out-wake up in Berlin-buy a chinchilla" drunk?
Based on the conversation I'm going to assume you didn't close the deal.
It started going awry when I fell through a roof.
i feel like doing his laundry was not included in the job description when we became fuck buddies.
i almost got into an argument defending my life choices with a guinea pig eating chocolate cake at 4am
But yeah, I am thinking that "Cake Heresy" will now be a thing
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