I will come over but only if I don't have to take my sunglasses off for it
i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
are you sure you're not interested? he's the dunkin donuts employee of the month.
Want to come to my BBQ and Blow party?
the only thing he could say in english were 'insert coin here' and 'game over'. i love spanish men.
I'm not sure which one did it but one of them fucked the kink out of my neck
Well they kicked us out after we started heckling the acrobats
My face is tingly. And my legs are being massaged by golden elves.
There are several different types of life sentences in my purse right now.
There's two sisters at this place and they look competitive. Try for a threesome tonight?
The thought "Ummm which pants am I wearing? ...I *am* wearing pants, right?" just ran through my head. I'm done. So done.
You're now part of the minority of friends who haven't seen my boobs.
you were on all fours in the front yard puking, but managed to hand the pizza delivery guy a beer and to have a nice day.
Shit. My boss is having me meet and greet with the new doc upstairs. Do you think his doctor powers will detect that I'm still high?
Sorry my phone died. Obviously four o'clock in the morning is a good time to tell you this.
Randomize
