What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
College reaches a new low. We just carved a shot glass out of a potatoe.
rolled in at 7am w/ 2 girls i met at the strip club. my neighbor was getting up to mow the lawn before he took his kids to school. i'm 31. he's younger. if given the chance, you think he'd want to switch places?
He jizzed my face. I had to ask for a washcloth. He ran his underwear under the water and handed them to me. Not so romantic.
i wanted to sleep on a waterbed so i filled up my bathtub so i could fall asleep in it...
I feel like i'm in the derek zoolander school for kids who can't read good.
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
If you bang a chick other than your girlfriend while playing tiger woods on xbox I wonder if an accomplishment would come up...
THEY SHOULD WARN YOU WHEN THEY MAKE JELLO SHOTS WITH JACK DANIELS!!! THEY SHOULD WARN YOU!!!!!!!
it only took 2 hours but we managed to melt the purity ring down with a butane torch
So I met my girlfriends dad last night. Or should I say I re-met that mall cop that had to tackle me.
I should just black out in my front yard again- that was a great nights sleep.
Who wrote "the chamber of secrets has been open, enemies of the heir beware" across my bathroom wall?
I am laying in your bed and just found a bottle of wine under your pillow ...should have married you...
I appreciate having someone to objectively critique my dick pics.
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