So you really shouldn't go around telling people you're fireproof
were doing shots for every snowflake that hits the ground
i woke up at 5 am and found myself wrapped in christmas lights that were plugged into the wall.
dude this girl next to me farted in the middle of a quiz and denied my high five
bitch
Just saw the hottest 4 garbage men ever. They should make a calendar
Never again will we have slut saturday. Never.
Ask her if said friend is decent looking or a wildabeast. Need to know if I need to top these 8 coronas off with a little tequila.
This might be the most awkward night of my life. And I had someone pee on me once.
Just had sex with your cousin. That's what you get for throwing away a perfectly good microwave. Hopefully you learned from this experience.
She just licked her nipple in public to get a free bar tab.
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
"just because you look like a short version of scarlet johanson does not mean I would immediately fuck you" that was the single.most difficult thing to say. but seriously I don't want the roots of the whore tree anywhere near my junk.
He asked me to come stay with him so he could "see that ass and watch Harry Potter."
This night could easily degenerate into a drunken haze of strippers and gambling, but I need a support network.
I promised to leave my panties on but I didn't promise to not have sex
Randomize
