'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
I think the imperative here is that I literally knocked down a sorority house with the force of my dick.
We got back together. The pastures weren't greener on the other side, the dicks were just smaller
Just found a wrench in the washing machine. Sooo not doing your laundry anymore.
Well, it's either jungle juice or memory of the night... It's unfortunate I can't have both
He broke into my house just to tell me the door was locked.
We're getting paid a considerable amount of money to send each other pictures of our dicks...
There is always the bar, but 2 30 on a Tuesday just screams alcoholism
He's not messing around tonight. 4 fist pumps.
I don't mean to crush your hopes and dreams but having sex IN the Stanley Cup isn't possible
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
I've amended my previous statement: I'm not allowed to put in my two weeks till I ask out the waitress. Now I have motivation on two levels
do you think mom is upset that i left with the stripper from her bachelorette party last night?
chipped my right front tooth on a toilette. i figure if i keep drinking i won't care for at least 2 days
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