her vagina probably looks like a grenade went off in a deli
It's sad how good I am at giving people diseases
Why does everyone think all I do is drink? I go to class on wednesdays
george bush was a better president for first pitches than barack obama. there. i said it.
So the next morning, she had to tell her kids we were moving furniture around all night.
I wish there was a lawn mower version of Roomba so I could just drink and cheer it on from the stoop.
would he be offended if i told him that "national coming out day" is october 11. thats subtle enough right?
Drunk walkin through police station. America
That's the kind of activity you can only get away with by wearing a lion codpiece
I woke up to him peeing by our bedroom door. I yelled at him to go to the bathroom and he just kept peeing while he walked there. This is a new low.
So from zero to dumpster fire, how shitty do you feel this morning? I'm hovering somewhere around trainwreck.
I need to hire someone full-time to slap food and dick away from me.
ITS THE CIIIIIIRCLE OF SLUUUUUUUTS
Why would you keep yourself in a sharting situation
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
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