i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
So some girl kept staring at me and giving me these weird looks. That's when I realized she could probably hear the Mulan soundtrack playing on my iPod...
Have you ever seen a porn where they were playing bluegrass in the background?
81 degrees in april.... Thinking margaritacicles, you in?
foreskin is a definite game changer
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
I swear the crows are laughing at me.
You my friend are stoned into submission
I look like slutty woodland creatures dress me in the morning. Everybody's got problems.
It sounds like drunken magic sprinkled w narcotics
She throws back shots like they are NO-THING. I swear, she goes through like five straight tequila shots, does a jello shot, chases with half a hot dog, has a rum and coke, and then takes her shirt off and makes an impromptu bandage out of it for fuckin' Tim who cut himself on the flagpole. I'm going to marry her.
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
Sorry I told all the other bridesmaids you were an asshole. I had had a few drinks and it's how I felt at the time.
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
Randomize
