My roommate and I had a nyquil contest. The nyquil won.
come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
She’s leaving for college so I made her a gift basket with all the essentials. You know- Ramen, a 12 pack of PBR, some leftover Plan B pills and a laminated business card for a good lawyer. Damn I’m a good big sister.
Too bad it's not "confirm, ignore or not unless I've had 20+ beers"
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
it's so much work when my dad takes my car to get fixed, i had to take out the bottles, condoms, and my pipe
Bren left me with a lovely parting gift. Newfouund alcoholism. I'm on the kitchen floor, hugging a bottle of vodka. It's my only friend now.
My neighbour is taking her hamster for a walk on a leash. Come over now
i've never been that scared in my life. i ran naked into the corner and he just stood there trying to shield his boner from the light.
It's like past high you was looking out for future high you by rolling that joint and leaving it in your coat pocket. What a Halloween miracle
An image of us stuck like that like Pompeii comes to mind. A wonder for future anthropologists
His name was Kyle but I insisted on calling him baby Jesus all night and then we did a line and he bought me Taco Bell so idk
just woke up. hair smells like weed and bbq. shins are bruised. vague memory of us chasing deer at the park at 3 am. fill me in on what exactly happened.
I brought a travel sized bottle of baby powder and sprinkled it on all of the couples making out on the wall in the basement
I did put on a shirt to start the night, right?
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