I'm fucking him on the second date. I don't give a fuck what Patti Stanger says.
After walking in on us in the living room, he still insisted that he slept in my bed with me afterwards.
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
Can I sell my birth control in a yard sale?
It feels like im being cuddled by a thousand little smurf vaginas
Just did a relay race involving shotgunning beers, cannonballs and riding a blowup whale. Never want to leave vacation.
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
Opened my purse to realize I have someone else's birth certificate. What happens to me in college?
We need to step up our tailgating...they're here drinking out of a prosthetic leg
They kept barging in on us saying random shit. At one point they came in yelling room service! and threw soda at us bruising my foot. Weirdest injury I have gotten during sex.
Apparently I send drunk snapchats a lot and they always have random dudes in them. Like one night it was just me and some guy I don't know sitting on my couch.
P.s. I loved that your balls smelled like coconut
You had to dry your pants with the hand dryer in the bathroom because you "forgot to take it out."
I am luring the porn star to my house with chicken!
We left an ass print on the conference room table, but I don’t think anyone caught on
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