12 pack with dinner. Living by yourself is awesome.
He was doing push ups, crunches and jogging in place in front of the restaurant. I'm not too sure I want to eat there if it requires immediate exercise following the meal.
Just scheduled a cocaine deal around my drug counsler appointment. Why yes, thank you, I do enjoy the irony that is my life.
i walked toward the cop car thinking it was the liquor store lights nd by that time it was too late to escape the trap
All I remember is passing out with an umbrella over my head and waking up screaming bad luck for seven years
I had to convince someone last night that the fact that he couldn't get me off wasn't him it was me and to clarify I had to tell him there was only. One person that got me off every time without fail, he said "that guy is my hero" you should be proud
I heard that clinking noise from behind me and I already knew you were whipping out a Smirnoff in class. Again.
Two big black bouncers picked you up and escorted you to the elevator.
I didn't even do anything wrong. For all they knew I could have been on the US Olympic Gymnastic team. Would they kick Gabby Douglas out of a bar? I don't think so.
So my parents just watched me pour their rum into a bottle and only add crystal light powder, no water... Talk about being judged. All I could say was "Cortland tricks?"
Ok fine, yes she's pregnant. But you're ignoring the most important part. HER BOOBS GOT BIGGER. That doesn't happen every day, and I owe it to myself to enjoy those boobs before the belly catches up to them!
I just put vodka in my apple sauce. Spice up your fucking life.
And for today's main disappontment. I thought I saw a midget with fireworks get on the buss, alas it's a child with cleaning supplies
all I remember the next morning was crawling through the doggy door and finding my underwear in my purse
I have four things I would like to do over summer too... Problem is they're all roommates
I think I just got booty called by someone I've never slept with or even really had a conversation with before.
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