If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
Stop it. You sound like you're giving birth.
considering i was high when my dad made me pee in the cup i might fail this one
Either seal the deal or get out of the room, I don't want to hide in this closet anymore
after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool.
I have come to realize that my purpose in life is less musical and more as a filter of alcohol into water.
I poured everyones drinks into the ice bucket and then stuck my face in it. Apparently I'm a greedy drunk.
I was dressed in monkey onesie serving people vodka jelly with a spoon...
He's grinding topless with a group of girls to that discovery channel song. May I take a message?
When you say shenanigans does that mean I should bring birth control?
getting busted for public urination is like, a step above j-walking. you'll be fine
Watching a guy masturbate in real time is a lot less theatrical than porn had me to believe.
I told the cops they couldn't arrest me until they found my shoe. Now I have the grant county cops looking for my heels by the rail road tracks.
Oh god I just had an orgasim riding my bike. I need to get laid pronto.
scotch tastings during the week is a baaad idea. i woke up w no pants but wearing my winter coat
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