I need to have sex with someone before he does. I need to win this break up!
How long after st. Patrick's day is it ok to shit green before I should seek medicial attention?
Are you really this nice or are you just trying to get in my pants?
Both?
just woke up to a get well card i wrote myself when i was drunk. it was by the advil. i am a cocky bitch.
Had no idea what his name was when I woke up. Went through his desk, found his tax records. Ben. And loaded.
Please never let me the drunk fat dancer in the bus girl
Nope, sorry. Already took my bra off. All down hill from here. My next act will be crying, singing, and eating girl scout cookies in the shower. You can come watch the shit show though.
The amount of guys who just came into the room to give me a high five after hooking up with him was about 5 too many.
Fuck underwear. Let's get stoned and eat ravioli.
The cops raided her house the day before class even started
Those assholes are becoming so efficient
I just tried to roll over and fell off the bed. I think that is the beds way of kicking me out
Suffice to say, I think if people ask about your bruises, and you look them right in the eye, and say "they're from fucking...", people would be like, "respect."
Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance
Ur creepiness is now affecting my life and I'm not okay with it
I just tried to dye my pubic hair teal for her
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