My husband just tried to seduce me by saying we can do it doggystyle so you can watch tv
oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
Just saw a white stretch Hummer limo outside of CiCi's pizza. Way to live up to the stereotypes, Alabama.
How come the only thing we can do right in our lives is drugs?
Just made a coke joke and literally drooled on myself. How do we feel about pavlov's theory of conditioning now?
I threw up in the shower, slipped, and fell in it. Should I try and continue my day or just get back in bed?
it is a dangerous dangerous place where morals and dignity go to die and all your fantasies about men become reality.
Never thought having a box of Cheerios could get me laid. My new lucky charm hello girl in 2B
I need to start a penis folder so I stop "accidentally" showing people my junk. On a side note- St. Pattys penis was a hit, four leaf clover and all.
Can you hurry up? Jamie just challenged my ex boyfriend to a duel and someone honest to God handed her a sword?
She didn't have her own?
Are we DOING anything for lunch...if sex is involved, let's just be straight forward and stop wasting the first half hour! We just need to get to the point
I'm not saying I'm planning to hook up tomorrow but I'm also not saying I'm unprepared for it
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
Oh no...did you put star fish over your nipples again?
Idk what's worse.... Yesterday not waking up in my bed or today waking up in the hello kitty gown.
Randomize
