So I'm going back to my apartment just to get my vibrator.
I thought you were moving in with your boyfriend for the summer?
Well....one will keep me from having to pay rent and the other satisfies. I'll let you figure it out.
It's like God shit irony all over that family
And then he told me he had the vodka, but he was still in line at WIC for the juice.
just saw a girl throwing up in a taco bell nacho cantainor going 60 down the highway
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
You are forgiven. I sent you a picture of a pumpkin man as a gesture of reconciliation.
Careful when you walk in I'm laying by the door.
She just referred to her vagina as "this bitch".
i wish it would rain vodka just once. i have not puked yet bring it on
Also, even though this really sucks now, we will look back on this one day and laugh at the time we all got arrested on Thanksgiving
Probably twitter. Never underestimate a psycho girl with wifi
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
It's amazing how hard it it while drunk to not comment "fuck you" on dumb peoples' statuses
I'm serious-it was like trying to deep-throat a minivan.
Randomize
