I'm on that like soy sauce on rice
I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
Heard it's your birthday. I can't send pictures, but go ahead and imagine my balls.
I told him next time he kisses her to remember where that mouth has been...
How'd that go?
Hes on his way with a baseball bat...
do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
woke up with a used condom shoved in my ear. i officially hate alcohol.
you were fixing your hair in the bathroom mirror and then fell backwards through the locked stall while she was in mid pee and fell on her lap.
Took me 12 hours to be sober again. Shitshow mission accomplished
Neat. I'm thinking about growing a handlebar muffstache. What are your thoughts on this?
I'm sorry but the visual image of you suffocating on vagina is basically hysterical
if i do community service solely to impress a guy, everyone wins, right?
except your soul
how fucking stupid do you have to be to think I'm going to accept your friend request months after falling asleep during one night stand sex?
Do you think they manscape in the zombie apocalypse?
He just stopped me mid blow job so he could text his wife asking for TacoBell.
WEED BROWNIES! He put weed in my brownie mix! And he got it from YYYYOOOOUUUU!
Look at the bright side mom. After 20 years dad is still capable of surprising you!
Shut up Max.
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