she just refered to her hymen as "the mrs"
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
Just had a thought: were the sirens on when we were in the ambulance?
No she stopped screaming. Now she's eating popcorn. Off a plate. With a spoon.
It's a system.. i get to hook up with them and you get to play words with friends with them afterwards.
I always enjoy the bewildered gaze as I buy chips, salsa and beer @ 0745.
I tried to lock you in the bathroom stall because you were too drunk. But you escaped from underneath, I gave up
I feel like I have two modes: Super fuckin high, or super giddy from caffeine. I have learned to accept this.
I'm 11 for 13 getting drunker than the person who's birthday it is
Attempted to dodge my boyfriends cum last night and ended up falling off the bed and getting the worlds most painful charlie horse. fuck my life.
i could have been the DD. this is ridiculous. i'm the most sober and getting the least ass.
I'm treating this like a real date. My boobs aren't even out.
I'm so proud, I have tears
Maybe you can just make seal noises during sex and we can call it good
Also apparently I made a "cake sandwich"--yeah smashed a massive piece of cake between two slices of bread....fucking tequila
I mean, it's good for a lot of things. Just not the inside of your vagina
Well neither is bbq sauce but I dont judge kinks
Randomize
