I just filled out my 2010 Census drunkenly. I'm single handedly throwing it off.
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
You just kept saying "they don't make cigarettes for squirrels. Yet."
Feeling better?
I can stand long enough to do the dishes finally. Been trying that all day.
I can't leave your house without my underwear spending the night.
On a scale of zero to "unmitigated disaster," how drunk is he?
if i do community service solely to impress a guy, everyone wins, right?
except your soul
Theyll love you, its bunch of older ladies who drink whisky and sours and talk about the sex seans in Game of Throwns
I managed all three standard threesome configurations a female-bodied person can achieve in just under nine years. I want to high-five everyone involved, but I've lost touch with a couple of them
I don't want the fire department to come out here twice in one weekend because of your god damn vape.
We fucked while The Odyssey played in the background. Homer would be proud.
sex on acid sucks though, i want to connect with the universe not your dick.
Seltzer and cocaine. Life is flawless right now.
Keep your fingers crossed. If I get to go to a Stanley Cup game I'll give you the blowjob he deserves for taking me. Because hes definitely not gettin it.
Heard about your divorce. Let me know if I can do anything for you or your penis ;-)
Randomize
