I hope you never procreate. Philly is already the ugliest city in the country.
oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
She threw up all over when she was giving me dome. Not even gonna lie, it felt really good.
Sorry there's no emoticon for I got my period all over a guy's bed so I had to improvise. There isn't even a bed one
Just got kicked out of two hot tubs. We were naked the second time. So awkward getting out in front of the security guard.
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
While he was gone for spring break I took his head board... I don't wanna wake up from his shenanigans for the rest of my college career.
He stood me up and then his cat died. I feel like this is Gods way of saying he's on my side, even after the tequila fiasco.
We bought only tequila and Twister. And you're STILL surprised you got pregnant?
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
Have you ever had chicken nuggets while high? Because it tastes like hearing the Beatles for the first time
I threw up in a flower pot outside the bar last night and have a date tonight....I think I missed something
Dude I was tripping acid when she was crying and I literally couldn't defend myself
I found a Trump-humping republican virgin born on the goddamn Fourth of July. I NEED to hate-fuck him.
I still have that dildo-suction bruise on my forehead and this sweater STILL smells like my Christmas Eve vomit.
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