people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
she was bad bro. like...id rather put my dick in a blender. twice.
His pubic hair was longer than his dick
Last night at the bar my fuck buddies found out about each other.
Wtf? What happened?
Not quite sure but they rock, paper, scissored to see who was taking me home.
You've eaten a Lean Pocket for every meal for at LEAST 3 days now. Get your life in line.
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
When your boyfriends ex-girlfriend texts you to see what you're wearing to his sister's wedding that you were not invited to, nor knew about. I think it's time to call it quits.
Dude, she doesn't even live here... She just can't eat all our food and masturbate on my dog's couch...
The sad part is that if I don't get a random pic of your balls or ass or both every month, I start to worry that we're not friends anymore
Welcome to the single world where it seems vibrator batteries are in short supply and making a sandwich while naked at 2am is relatively normal
Came so hard my ears popped. This lovely piece of news and pissin in my driveway brought to you by rum
I mean I only got hit in the ass with ONE firework
Two of my roommates are waxing their vaginas in the living room. Can I come smoke?
I made a White Russian but saw how early it was and decided to substitute it for milk in my lucky charms. This is what it means to be an adult.
Some guy I'd never met and didn't invite threw the punch bowl at the wall and set the plastic skeleton on fire. I don't think we'll be getting the full deposit back
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