i gave him head before the novacaine wore off...i think his penis touched my lung
he asked me to help him wrap his girlfriends birthday presents. Dont worry we fucked right after.
he had to fake a sneeze attack to hide the fact he came in 15 seconds?!
so its atleast an 8 for creativity.
we just ordered 30 dollars worth of french fries...whats wrong with us?
Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
I wish you would just come have sex with me in ihop. I don't want to be here
Im deleting that text because its a possible ncaa violation
Btw he dated my mom. You're Eskimo siblings with my mom. Good job.
I used my yoga mat as a door stop so he couldn't come into my room when i was sleeping last night. Drunk engineering at its finest
Also this guy fingered me at the bar and then gave me his card
Nothing like snapchatring dick pics to a\nMarried woman while your girlfriend destroys Taco Bell in the next room. Almost caught, worth it. Got boobs back
I went to the strip club tonight. I had never gone, and in a panic I gave the dancer giving me a lap dance a handshake and introduced myself. Redefines business casual.
oh my god you are days, if not hours away from a dick pic. This is the day the lord has made rejoice and be glad in it
They left around 10:00 this morning. I've been naked since 10:01.
I wonder if my sister will drive me around while I do bong hits in the back seat..
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