he got instantly turned off in the middle of a blowjob when he heard the news "twilight beat the blockbuster record of batman"
Even tho I saw his penis. He is still a really nice guy.
Some mysterious chinese delivery man dropped off 2 free egg rolls. Clutch
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
don't worry i just saved a song to my personal usb drive to give to the dj at the bar. he's playing old school jlo whether he likes it or not.
Honey, I don't care how "classic you" this is. It's not gonna matter if we can't find you in the morning.
It's like he drunk calls 6 times for me to come over, but can't say hello at lunch.
He was leaving the restaurant I was going to as I was parking. I didn't want to scream, "hey, didn't I jerk you off?" Out of my window at 10 am
I'm glad he doesn't have a bigger dick because he'd just use it for evil anyway
In between explaining the best feminist lenses for the myth of Persephone and doing vodka shots with my friends she dragged me into my car and gave me an Earth shattering blow job. Honestly I think I'm in love.
my birth father cheated on his wife with my birth mother. it's literally in my blood to be a home wrecker.
Woke up at my x's house. He said I talked about how much I love panda's for fourty five minutes. Then made him watch The Little Mermaid with me. Made the walk of shame infront of his mom. Things can only really go up from here.
Wait till you get home.
I was very impressed with his ability to carry on a conversation with his friends sitting in the front seat with his hand in my pants, getting a hand job, stoned, with a cigarette in his mouth. I think he's a keeper.
It took him 15 minutes to put the condom on.
I think I should write my liver a thank you note. If it had my work ethic, I would be dead now.
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