Me hooking up with her is like rush being president. Bad news.
the only reason he called me tonight was because I fertilized his crops on farmville.
i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
I just found a beer bottle in my xmas tree while disassembling it. God, I'm going to miss the holidays.
I found my phone outside under the leaves by the curb. What the fuck did I do last night
ALSO, bringing a stapler to the bar is a good idea
Oh, and also, a couple of straight girls showed up. But they ran away.
We can Fuck in the shower to save time
And this is why I like you. You're so damn innovative.
No! Last time I got hit with a beer bottle
Haha, Tuesday man
Not too bad but came home early cuz business was shut down due to an employee sexually harrassing the inspector
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
It was 16 hours of liver killing mistake making goodness
I just forgot I was standing up.
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
I'm like a great zombie Jesus.
Randomize
