i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
My parents showed me my IQ test from fourth grade, I'm shitting on my potential.
yeah but it's new years. they should arrest people for being sober that day.
All I wanted to tell you is that I fucked a guy covered in fake blood, who circumcised himself.
Stop staring at my boobs, I can't concentrate
Well how do you think I feel
fair enough
Breaking hearts and overdosing on semen. That's my life.
Wierdest expirience of my life this girl literally just knocked on my door at 140am to blow me in the shower. Idk what im doing but im doing it right
How was me telling you it's my mom's birthday a go-ahead to bang my sister???
He just invited me over to bang on a sunday afternoon. If I can make it top the time I went to a strip club on fathers day then I'll consider it a success.
Also I've decided that I'm buying the next friend of mine who is dumb enough to get married a live porcupine as a wedding present.
I'm honored that you could tear yourself away from your girlfriend's vagina long enough to text me.
i just used a selfie stick to take an ass pic. i hate myself.
I'm taking pictures of my asshole to send to my boss. This is not what I had in mind the day after thanksgiving.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
I don't wanna be 33 that's when Jesus died
Randomize
