ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
i wish my apartment had room service that i didn't have to pay for.
Just got a lapdance on the metro. She said she was on maternity leave and needed the practice.
He told me his penis would be a "Sad Panda" if I didn't give it a ride through the jungle.
I don't think he grasps the fact that I would much rather he finish inside me than on my $400 Anthropolgie bedspread
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
I threw up in the shower, slipped, and fell in it. Should I try and continue my day or just get back in bed?
I HOPE YOURE READY TO KICK SOME SERIOUS ASS AT TRIVIA NIGHT TOMORROW NIGHT. also, i hope the birth of your niece goes well. BUT MOSTLY TRIVIA NIGHT.
Does Jim keep sending you pics of him in drag too???? If so, are you also slightly uncomfortable?
I just read "to infinity and beyond" as "to infidelity and beyond" something is seriously wrong with my psyche
Why are you there anyways?
Pickin up ball pit balls from craigslist
We peed on campus in the middle of the tailgate and then hit on a married cop that asked you to stop touching him
My dad called me in the middle of the night, drunk on vodka, asking for references on the Irish alphabet.
You left me with 12 red bulls and a bottle of vodka. What did you expect?
What do you want. Tryin to service my husband like the good wife that I am. It is bj Tuesday
Randomize
