fix you gags fore go to garrits please? !!!!!!!
What does that mean?
How when the cu k dos I yet u
Focus
hey babe. i'll pick you up in my mom's car. with my mom. she has nothing to do tonight.
i'm so high that for the last 10 minutes i pretened my sock was a mouse, and played with it like it was legit.
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
searching "dave" under the university of pittsburgh on facebook was not exactly how i hoped to find my baby daddy
i woke up and the dog was eating spaghetti off my chest.
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
A homeless man just asked me if I had seen any "nekkid chicks with heineken bottles run by"
Berkeley was the right choice
Chuck job is nothing more than to be my dick stand when I'm too drunk to hold it while pissing
Not only is he in the circus, the man survived a near death experience and has an accent. She might as well have found a unicorn. This shit just doesn't happen in real life. Where did she meet this magical creature?
Why can't burritos get me drunk
How is it??
I'm drinking Gatorade out of a champagne flute.
Sorry I peed on your ottoman
Despite how often it occurs, I have absolutely no interest in having sex with myself
He stopped the gas pump at 69 and gave me my receipt. He wants it.
Randomize
