I have a feeling we are going to become cougars together.
she says her boyfriend and her dignity are both out of town tonight
:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
I waited so long to accept his friend request that he canceled it. So I added him and when he accepted I deleted him. I wonder how long this will be funny to me
I think I will be cutting those pills in half...Jesus just tried to sell me a toothbrush.
I figured out that he lasts longer when I rap during sex. He made it all the way through "Love the Way you Lie"
I'm going to practice throwing things up the the air and catching them between my boobs, because that seems like a cool party trick.
How do you not remember?? She kept putting a dollar on her waistband and insisting it was all you can eat under a dollar
My legs have surpassed "hairy" and entered the territory of "furry". Maybe I should just suck it up and shave already
No now I'm curious!
how is it that I keep meeting up with you when Im drunk?
you stand on my porch screaming my name until I come out with you...
"I feel morally obligated to vote for him since he's my drug dealers dad"
He also deemed that the fact that I couldn't log into Netflix was not an emergency. He's wrong.
I love how encouraging you are, but I need you to stop me when the guy I'm going home with is a dead ringer for Nick Cage.
I can't believe I slept with a girl who has the words shucks in her vocabulary. I'm getting less picky by the day..
Randomize
