I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
The Shake Weight not only toned my arms but significantly improved my hand job form and efficiency.
I still can't figure out why that's not in the commercial.
She got stuck in the front door. She never told me how or why.
Come down. You're the next contestant on this bowl.
I was thrown in the air atleast 3 times by baby jesus
You said you didn't want to drink anymore so you started shooting vodka down the back of your throat using a syringe. Oh, and then you aimed it at my eye ball...vodka in the eye hurts btw.
The worst thing about him living around the corner is that who ever suggests the booty call is the one that walks over.
Remember that time you bought snap bracelets on Amazon and they sent you 300 pregnancy tests instead? Amazon knows.
i am laugh crying so hard the guy next door stopped playing guitar
I have to have sex on a bidet. I'm not sure what kind, but it's reason #4 for an Italian vacation!
I bought more beer than I could carry and managed to fit it all in the fridge. It's an alcoholicmas miracle.
Alcohol and IMDB don't always mix with 100% accuracy
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
So, just how hungover are you?
Not at all, surprisingly.
That has to be your X-Men power.
Randomize
