So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
Sex has been so nonexistent lately that when I was masturbating the other day, I actually paused to yawn.
I bought a goldfish, named it after my ex-girlfriend, and let it die. It's really the little things in life.
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
Man in California was arrested for killing and eating a wild bobcat while high on crystal meth. Let's please NEVER get that high on anything...
We learned a lot about one another. I showed him around the town I grew up in and he informed me that he has had a threesome and killed a cat
Dude between pissing everywhere and all of those frogs, that bathroom got wrecked.
Nothing motivates a person to clean their apartment like puking up cheese ravioli beer-tequila chicken wings for eight hours.
Are you aware that you called me "Sexy clit lady" last night?
Today some guy at work told me I had the nicest hair he's ever seen and my response was "thanks I grew it myself". This is why I'm single.
he had DANDRUFF in his PUBES. 0/10 would not blow again.
I just smoked part of an Oreo cuz I thought it was some hash you left
I'm drunk but I just ate 2 heads of broccoli so does that mean it evens out?
Yes absolutlely
It's been a week I should not still be finding glitter in my pants.
He’s perfect! He listens to Genesis during sex and has a VW bus!
You really are from the panhandle, aren’t you?
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