you lied vaginas dont taste like gold fish!
noo i said youre golden if her vagina tastes like fish!
Just used the D.E.N.N.I.S system successfully.
you ran down to the water at 3am and rolled in the sand and ran around screaming that you were the corn dog monster.
She had to get her inhaler in the middle of fucking...but she kept it in.
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
He's had mdma poured down his throat. He's getting huggy.
I called him and he said hell call me back hes in the middle of his kareokee song he was out by himself and his dog
I've never felt more disgusting in my life. And I'm including the time I snuggled that homeless woman in the puddle of my whiskey vomit.
Wake your sexy ass up. It's donut time.
He stumbled out of the bathroom with his pants around his ankles yelling "tie my shooes!"
I don't know man. I fell outside Pizza Hut and an employee had to perform first aid. But I think I got free pizza. So it was worth it.
Please remind me tomorrow that I ate a loaf of jimmy johns bread on the toilet 5 mins ago
You put THAT much Jager in me and expect me to realize when things are a bad idea?
i'll...probably just offer you drugs?
i'll...probably take them in all honesty
My boss just offered me a vodka mixed drink at work I do not have a real job
Randomize
