I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
OK...I gotta go get strawberry short cake cakes and knee pads
i effin hate jeff goldbloom.
but i totally would still bang him
This is why I shouldn't be left alone with liquor and anticipation.
And then you told your sister how horrible of a friend I was because I couldn't get you cheese fries...
I didn't think her British accent was real until I saw how fucked up her teeth were.
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
you are not my drinking buddy, you are my drinking enemy.
I'll come hang out with you guys later, but right now my parents aren't home and I have to take full advantage of being able to watch porn on full blast.
Only you could make a stripper uncomfortable by eye fucking her too much.
He came so hard that he yelled what sounded like a spell from Harry Potter.
Mind if I sleep with your cousin? If I can... thanks. If no, sorry its gonna happen.
Hey you're my best friend, I'm sorry I picked my vagina over my heart last night.
Good god, my descendants are going to be fucked.
I remember waking up on the bathroom floor and seeing my teeth behind the toilet
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