hey babe. i'll pick you up in my mom's car. with my mom. she has nothing to do tonight.
i love rice pilaf. whoever invented that i would give them a hug.
Instead of just putting in it he asked "will you do the honors?" it was the cutest thing I had ever heard before sex.
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
Either he was jacking off or having a seizure next to me in bed. Either way, I was too lazy to help.
6 beers and it feels like I've been drinking water... Daiquiri time
There's a bag in my room with garbage, a thong, fritos, and an electrical cord. I'm assuming it's yours
........yyyyyyeah that's me
Come get me we have a petting zoo to throw up in.
IM FEEDING MY CAT ALL THE HAM
My lighter is stuck in my beard.
I was just thinking about if my bath water turned to jello and got a little freaked out
Maybe snorting K off penises isn't healthy
I had sex in the bed of a guy who owns a house last night so I feel like this is a significant step up from car sex in the parking lot of a library
i've got three words. i. was. spanked.
Add tweezing eyebrows to the list of things not to do while on adderol....
Randomize
