i was so high last night that i actually googled "how to get un high"
if you ask that question again our friendship is over
Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
it's pretty bad when you go in bed bath and beyond and recognize 6 different bed spreads you've had sex on
we did it on the golf course and he threw the condom in the pond. some poor fish is gonna choke on it
i was quietly enjoying my waffles when he came downstairs naked, kissed me on the forehead, and thanked me for the night before. i didnt even know anyone stayed over.
Idk. I woke up marinating in beer on my beanbag. Idk what you mightve done.
Fuck you, jack daniels. I feel like satan laid an egg in my brain.
Reached a new low. Drinking Wine from my thermos while on the stair master.
its like..once you have one emotional drunk night, you can't stop. i feel like i have to end every drunken night in tears and i dont think my roommates think it's heartwarming anymore
I only want to make out with him. Unless I get hungry. In that case I will take him home and screw him as a distraction from eating.
I'm in the middle no shirt white shorts humping the white dustbuster next to the guy shooting off the tazer infront of the two guys humping on the bicycle
A dude I dated in high school just put a status about National Coming Out day. I checked his relationship status. He is dating a dude. Hello, Friday.
I was walking out the front door and heard his roomate say "It looks like you need a chiropractor." I think my work here is done.
He made me cum via FaceTime, then he made me look at his stock investment charts..
I didn’t want a minivan, but I have to admit it’s made it a lot easier to hook up with the dilfs at soccer tournaments
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