that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
he spit gasoline on a tiki torch to impress a girl. he caught on fire but did get laid. success.
i love how people use prayer to talk shit about eachother in a 'holy' manner.
I'm more concerned about the fact that I can't feel my gums
Not sure. We'll pass out on that bridge when we stumble to it.
you don't know true fear until you are a convinced that velociraptors are trying to kill you through your roof.
When we were grinding I think your nuva ring fell into my shoe
He was uncircumcised
It was like inception. A penis within a penis within a penis
He laid on the ground 100 ft from the car crying about how he just wanted to be home already
drunk brunch me or lose me forever
He told me I'm a small core of pure evil wrapped up in sweetness, gold, and puppies. He gets me.
That is beautiful
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
The part where he comes over and ignores you isn't what makes me mad about that story... It's the fact that he ate your tacos, AND THEN proceeded to ignore you. That's cold hearted.
Never doubt me. I am drunk and unstoppable and I will finish this book
Shut up. I hate you. We're doing shots tomorrow. Fuck the consequences.
Randomize
