okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
You don't have to be emotionally available for a blow job.
No. No. And hell no. If you are driving a Honda Fit you are not allowed to give me a dirty look. No.
I woke up naked in my bathtub at 5:30 this morning. There's legit a spray tan body print of me in the fetal position in my tub.
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
Also I had a dream we made my birth control into a joint. What does that mean?
The token old dude at the show tried hitting on us by telling us his favorite rapper was Cayenne West.
It's 6 am, I'm drunk, and celebrating the end of finals.Go ahead and ask me where I am...if you guessed a McDonald's playpen then you are correct. Badabababa I'm loving it
this old dude from the bar is giving me a ride home in a van, his bumper sticker says " don't laugh your kids could be in here" scary world ou here
because of daylight savings time I lost an hour of sex with an incredibly hot guy last night. thanks a lot farmers.
I don't need a lecture. I'm 41. I know I'm an idiot.
Whatever. I'll take my new fine ass dick sucking nails elsewhere.
Did you ever think you lost your bong and then you find it in the weirdest place? I mean, who leaves their bong in the shower?
So, looks like I managed to leave my bra in the boardroom after all the sex. FML.
He ate me out while I was playing bejeweled. It was the greatest moment of my life.
Randomize
