is your mom at the bar?
I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
watching law and order svu marathons. all of the sex crimes cases start like my sat night.
Just saw a white bronco on my way home from work and the license plate said "NOT OJ"
I wish there was a non slutty way to ask the guys across the hall if i can copy their men's bathroom key so I have one for my one night stands
She just opened a six pack of corona with her car door ... I had no idea she was such a skilled drunk
We are, if nothing else, classy enough to leave our 10 mini bottles of wine in a polite line on the floor of the movie theater.
I had 5 long islands and 2 alien brain hemorrhages…I am entirely certain that the "power hour to finish the night" idea was just too much.
She got turned on by my fanny pack full of condoms. I can't believe you said it was a bad idea to wear it to the party.
according to last night, I underestimated the size of my mouth and the possibilities of what can fit into it.
I could drive to your house and kick you in the nuts right now....and not even stop for a burrito
Got a high five from a Superman stripper tonight
He just stopped me mid blow job so he could text his wife asking for TacoBell.
"Here let me wipe my uterus off your dick" was probably the most unsexy thing said after period sex. I should get an award
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