So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
there are singles shoved down my panties. this is the type of summer job i always wanted.
I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
He is in the front yard trying to catch birds out of the air with a fishing net.
My only downfall is that I can only take shots in twos.
You bought champagne and told everyone it was because I'd just found out I was pregnant. How exactly is that being a good wingman?
I just farted so loud someone came to check on me. Thought something fell in my office.
Please don't tell me that blonde guys name is Matthew I won't be able to fuck a guy with my brothers name
He told me that he'd ride his snowmobile from Cincinnati to Toledo in this blizzard just so I could give him head.
there is something very satisfying about getting tacos after hours of sex.
Whoever was doing lines off my iPad is a dick. Also bring Gatorade, for I hunger
For Who flesh?
Are ropes allowed in during conjugals?
You literally brought me back to life and then fucked it out of me
You threw up everything but your ovaries.
Randomize
