I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
fuck you guys, stop putting fake babies in my car the cops came again.
I stayed up for hours making sure you didnt pass out in a mountain of your own puke. But when I heard you yell AWWWW FUUCCKK, somehow I knew everything would be ok
Its so fun. We're having a music war with the boat next to us. They have strippers.
just got home. some guy on my porch is tryin to show me his balls. no more parties at my apartment.
It's one of those nights that you wish to god someone would booty call you, and then realize you'll just be stuck here with your poptart...
i would have thought, that you two being my best friends, one of you would have atleast tried to catch me before i hit the ground after blacking out.
You're married and I'm going to make out with a stranger tonight. Isn't that weird? It's like a gap in the time space continium.
I am having telepathic thoughts with my cat. He loves me and wants me to blow his nose
If that orgasm indicates how the rest of the year is going to go, I need to buy rain boots.
The internet was right. Snorting muscle relaxers is awful
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
In a meeting I sneezed and my tooth hit the floor. I don't think anyone noticed. I would still like to die now.
Trying to decide if I'm relieved or disappointed that I didn't receive any fuck boi calls on nye
I need your help immediately! I sorta kinda sliced my foot off at the ankle with my new kitana. Bring your cooler, ice and some hospital road beers.
Randomize
