Living right is spending a lot of time in someone's ass
Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
Balcony sex scratched the shit out of my phone. Whups.
just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
I brought his matress to the living room we're laying on it listening to rick james drinking vodka
He slow fucked me. Doggy style. On a porch. You never slow fuck doggy style. Its a law. A LAW.
Where are you? I hear fireworks and you've gone missing. I'm sure that is not coincidence.
I think my hookup is starting to fall for me. Time to break his heart.
Turns out he's old enough to be my dad. I'm so excited. I've never had a sugar daddy before. What should I ask for first!? Want anything?
Best case scenario: sex with hot bartender \nWorst case scenario: no sex and punched by tattooed guy that may or may not be said bartenders boyfriend.
Trying to decide who to DD on the fourth and I came up with a Who's who of guys I've hooked up with in the last month. Not an ideal situation, but I have a feeling it's gonna happen anyway.
I am a figure skater. You should know better than to let me get drunk near any patches of ice during Olympics season.
It was a recodring of you having sex ! It was like an ape and a dying mongoose at a buffet Xoxoxo
I'm playing trivia and drinking margaritas so now is not a good time.
She was blacked out on the couch MASTURBATING and whispering to her boyfriend...who wasn't there. I yelled her name and she didn't even pause.
Randomize
