i'm not sure what happened. i know i woke up on the floor of his bathroom, then had morning sex with him. dont remember getting to his apt. dont remember much.
morning sex?... maybe not a total mistake then? he seems like a normal person, so rare at BU
oh no, he's far from normal. i know his high school girlfriend. she's CRAZY. and he definitely deals prescription drugs. also. he had sex with me even though i slept on his bathroom floor.
Don't worry. I just took 2 benadryls and beat off. I'm practically sleep texting
drunk enough to think that masterbating in the pool is an awesome idea
two gay guys came in and bought just a kite and a box of wine. Why cant I have saturday nights that awesome
Driving around Panama at 7 am looking for an open liquor store..
dude, my ass and shoulder hurt from that kayak last night... note to self: wood planks holding kayak from ceiling do not also hold up a human being
Dude, I had no choice. I was defending my genitals.
Telling the family you're going for a run, getting dressed in workout clothes, and then walking halfway around the block and smoking a joint. This is my life
You are an awesome peach made of glitter.
You're not talking any sense into me. You're cheering me on to disaster.
... is that not half the reason I'm your best friend in the first place?
we had sex in his office so i figured it was appropriate to like his company's page on facebook
I just sent him a message bearing my soul about how much he means to me as a friend and his first response is "are you drunk?"
Shit like this is why I'm a bitch to everyone.
Have you ever seen death before? Bc it's me right now in yesterday's clothes.
Oh man I missed being single! Two different guys just sent me dick pics during my kid’s little league game.
I love you even if you are fucked up. If you fall, i'll just get on top of you.
Randomize
