The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
I only make drug deals in a British accent. It's my way of making sure it doesn't get too sketch.
My cha cha got a haircut
thank god. going down on you was like chewing on astroturf
drunk enough to think that masterbating in the pool is an awesome idea
this is the last time we take the mathletes drinking.
Hey we met at the bar a week ago. Your friend gave me a rose and you asked about my nipples.
i now officially have to be stoned in order to look like my passport when i go to a different country
I'm really stoned in my underwear. I probably won't make it to the bar.
Just found a condom on my floor from last weekend. 2/2. The scavenger hunt is over.
I can't. I drank 10 years off my life last night. I need to reevaluate. Sorry.
Side note, i did some manscaping and now my farts sound way different
He called me at 4 a.m. and wanted me to drive him to McDonald's then drop him off at home. It wasn't even a booty call, it was a fucking chauffeur call.
We can't do acid Disneyworld.
I have photo proof.
Girl, don't care. What's my rule? If I don't remember it, it never happened.
So someone just asked us for our kidneys?!?
Randomize
