Yea I just took my 1st pregnancy test. Turns out I am just fat. Also I haven't been with anyone in 3 months, which is clearly making me crazy.
I look like a sausage in jean shorts, you should have woken up earlier and approved my outfit.
Most of the time people just stick whatever they want in my mouth. Thanks for letting me decide this time
Be honest with Daniel. He was a good rebound to you for nine months and he made it so you could be with the one you really love and care for now. Just tell him thanks and best of luck.
im swimming of confusion and bacardi. where do i go from herrrrrre
The sun is so bright. Whhyyyyy. EYES ARE DEAD.
He just stared into my eyes and touched himself. That isn't hooking up.
you taught an eight year old how to shotgun a half pint of chocolate milk, that's all i'm saying
Because I'm a hot mess throwing up in the litter box
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
And you were like wow I love water shots they taste so good
I woke up on some strangers couch covered in salad mix and oatmeal cream pies. The struggle is absolutely real.
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
Howd it go?
Well we had the "no we're not fucking on the porch" conversation but then we totally fucked on the porch. So I'd say alright.
Woke up in a house I don't know, with someone else's pants on, and wolverine hair, to my girlfriend yelling on the phone about the 4 girls I made out with last
Randomize
