Tell your broad to take a big shot of 'chill the fuck out' and put it on my tab.
so she asked me if I thought she was fat and naturally I said no..... but I think she might catch on
who is she? I really hope you have an explanation cause either you think I'm fat or you're cheating on me
then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
She was so adorably desperate I didn't have the heart to tell her I wasn't a lesbian. So now She's making waffles, may switch teams over this.
Are you seriously trying to guilt me into sending you naked pictures by saying "So I can look at them during dialysis" ?
Is it working?
Decided against hooking up with creepy stalker guy for a ride to work. I feel I've earned a few self respect points back.
It's such a good feeling to send those "I'm not in jail" texts on Sunday morning
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
You told them that the brownies were safe, and then pointed to a passed out Ryan and said "see?"
You christened everyone with a powdered doughnut and then tried to absorb vodka with your nipple.
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
Oh? I just remember dropping coins and trying to give the manager change to let me back into the bar.
See and now you're talking. I am like the fairy godmother of hook ups.
Forget work, lets run away, rob banks, and have kinky sex with fuzzy handcuffs.
IT'S LIKE YOU READ MY MIND.
Reverse road head. Sa-witch!!!
Randomize
