no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
so he let me use one of the toothbrushes that came in his daughters 4 pack, purple glittery toddler toothbrush, the next time i came back his wife has used their label maker and put my name on it...
Any particular reason you put 2 smashed up limes in my back pocket last night?
smoking weed is really the only logical conclusion to hangovers
he was drinking cheap vodka with warm tap water and a packet of crystal light. if that's not an alcoholic then idk what is
I can't believe you just thanked me for a blowjob on my Facebook wall...
it was like lady and the tramp only with a jello shot on the pool table
well the night couldnt get much worse after she peed all over herself and the sidewalk.
Just got shoved by an Elvis impersonator. Evidently it isn't cool to ask how much of a disappointment they are in the eyes of their parents.
If you want it you better put a ring on it. And by ring I mean one of my three favorite pies.
Pretty sure that propositioning you to fly across the country for sex fest '13 isn't something my husband would approve of.
apparently when a guy says "if there's anything missing in your life, I will provide" he's not expecting attractive lesbians to be the answer.
So here's a tip: don't give a blowjob the same morning you're going to the dentist. Cuz they will think you have "mouth trauma."
How are you supposed to wish the guy you send nudes to good luck for the first day of his new job??
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